


I want you to hold me

by welcometosideb



Series: There's Always a First Before the First [2]
Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Fluff, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Abuse, M/M, Post-Canon, at least to my standards, idk - Freeform, it's more fluffy than sexual, the implied/referenced abuse is like one line and it's really subtle
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-13
Updated: 2020-02-13
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:08:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22693816
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/welcometosideb/pseuds/welcometosideb
Summary: Since Columbia, Neil only touched him when Andrew explicitly held his hands in place and gave him permission, Andrew was grateful, but he wanted more.They'd tried, they'd failed, he shouldn't want it anymore, but all Andrew wanted was to be touched - and he wouldn't ask, not when Neil seemed so concerned and hesitant.It's a series about Andrew testing how far he can go.
Relationships: Neil Josten/Andrew Minyard
Series: There's Always a First Before the First [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1631482
Comments: 7
Kudos: 201





	I want you to hold me

**Author's Note:**

> I don't think you need to read the previous work, but they're directly linked, so if you want to understand it better, feel free to read the previous one.  
> Again, feel free to point any mistake or anything that is confusing and could be written in a better way.

They were kissing in the locker room, their lips fit together, Andrew's hands were in Neil's body, touching, and exploring the skin under the wet shirt from the shower water dripping off of Neil's hair.

Neil kept his hands in his pockets, his eyes were closed, and all Andrew wanted was to be touched - but he wouldn't ask, not when Neil seemed so concerned and hesitant.

Since Columbia, Neil only touched him when Andrew explicitly held his hands in place and gave him permission, Andrew was grateful, but he wanted more.

They'd tried, they'd failed, he shouldn't want it anymore, but when they stopped kissing, 'cause Kevin was annoyed about them keeping him waiting and wanted to sleep, Andrew spent a lot of time in their dorm bathroom thinking about Neil, wanting him to be there.

  
  


It was Friday night, their lot went to Eden's Twilight, Roland welcomed them happily, but Andrew wasn't actually paying attention to anyone, he didn't see the moment Nicky and Aaron got up to dance, he didn't listen to whatever Roland said while preparing their drinks, he didn't hear Kevin's bickering, he could only see Neil drinking soda, wearing tight pants he would love to take off of him, talking about anything but exy just because Andrew hated it, his eyes drifting to Andrew's lips just for a moment before looking the other way.

Andrew didn't drink that night, needing to be sober, he ignored his brother and cousin complains about going away earlier than planned, he didn't care or waited to see how Kevin, Nicky, and Aaron would stumble on their own feet going to their rooms, all he cared about was Neil closing the door behind him on their shared room, all that he could think of was Neil murmured "yes" against his lips, and kissing him deeply. All he could think about was Neil.

Andrew didn't ask, but Neil took off his shirt, saying  _ "I trust you"  _ without actually saying it.

There were things Andrew would never forget even if his memory wasn't eidetic, one of them was the first time Neil showed him his scars, how it was pure trust, Neil asked something and gave part of himself as payment.

Things were different now, Neil wasn't trying to win his trust, he thought he'd taken something he wasn't allowed to weeks ago in this same room and was paying for. He was wrong though, he took nothing and should pay nothing.

But how precious it was to be trusted so openly by someone like Neil.

Andrew couldn’t help it but kiss him senseless, his fingers touched the scars he already knew by heart, he kissed every mark Neil allowed him to, and he touched, and he licked, and he kissed, feeling Neil gasping, cussing, melting on him, giving himself entirely to his touch - and how precious it was to have someone like Neil trusting him this much, being this vulnerable and this honest.

He took Neil in his mouth and Neil squirmed under him, he moved his mouth faster, rougher, taking him deeply, Neil's hands grabbed the sheets, not touching him, but he wanted him to - he wanted it so bad.

But it was too much, so he didn't ask, even when Neil kissed him, exhausted, dizzy, smiling, he didn't ask even when they were lying side by side and Neil stared at him with bright eyes as if Andrew held the whole sky in his bare hands, and a curious face.

"Neil".

" Yeh?" He said softly.

"I want you to hold me. Yes or No?"

Neil looked at him like they were speaking different languages.

"What?" He smiled, not mocking but genuinely surprised "Do you want to cuddle?"

Andrew shrugged.

"Yes or no?"

"Yes." Neil opened his arms, Andrew took his shirt off - Neil gave him something, he had to give it back.

Apparently, Neil didn't agree.

"You don't have to..."

"Shut up." Andrew interrupted, 'cause he had to - he wanted to -, he never took off any part of his clothes willingly in front of anyone, but he wanted to.

And how precious it was to have someone like Andrew trusting in you with such vulnerability.

He settled himself in Neil's arms, leaning his head on Neil's shoulder, feeling Neil's arms around him - and, even then, Neil's hands didn't touch him.

At this point, Andrew was used to sharing his bed with Neil, it was the only way to guarantee he wouldn't run away, but this was something else, trusting his body defenseless to someone else's arms, feeling warm skin against skin, feeling each of Neil's scars in his chest, it was different, and, with Neil, it was good.

Andrew sighed, Neil, of course, heard.

"Do you want me to leave?" He asked in a tone only Andrew knew.

"No." Andrew answered, "You can touch me if you want".

"Where?" Neil whispered.

"Neck, chest, back." The blond man said, "Nowhere else."

Neil nodded, playing with his hair, pulling softly, and holding his back with his free hand 

"Do you want me to hold you all night long?"

"If you're able to."

"I am." Neil laughed, "Can I kiss you, yes or no?"

"Yes," Andrew said, lifting his head, expecting a kiss on his lips, but Neil kissed his forehead, "Idiot."

"Go to sleep, 'Drew," said Neil sleepy and content.

And how precious it was to fall asleep in someone else's arms feeling such safety.

**Author's Note:**

> I accept all kinds of criticism, from grammar mistakes to narration problems or characters.  
> I hope it wasn't too much ooc and you guys enjoyed reading it.


End file.
